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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189530">Pretend to Pretend</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_deserve_rainbows/pseuds/We_deserve_rainbows'>We_deserve_rainbows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mechanisms (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Apologies, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Confrontations, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Abusive Relationships, Loss, M/M, Suicidal Ideation, The toy soldier is happy to be a soldier again, War, but he doesnt know about its orders thing, jonny orders ts to do something it doesnt want to, the graphic depiction of violence is tim goes crazy so</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:00:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189530</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/We_deserve_rainbows/pseuds/We_deserve_rainbows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been ever so long since the Toy Soldier has been in a proper war.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bertie &amp; The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms), Gunpowder Tim &amp; The Toy Soldier (The Mechanisms), Jonny d'Ville &amp; The Toy Soldier, background bertie/Gunpowder Tim (The Mechanisms)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Good-Mechs-Fanfic-for-My-Poor-Friends, The Toy Soldier Has Rights</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Jonny and the Toy Soldier Join The War</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i plan on this being at least five chapters, hope you like it! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Mechanisms had ended up on Earth during the Moon War through sheer coincidence, they had stopped for fuel and one of their radios had started playing a recruiters ad, encouraging anyone to sign up and fight for their country. When Jonny heard this he was mad with glee at the thought of some good violence and a brief respite from the doc. </p><p>He announced to all the other mechs that he was going to go fight in the moon war, this was met with various flavors of “Okay, I don't care,” </p><p>He hadn't even intended to tell the Toy Soldier, he didn't really care for the thing, it creeped him out, but it was painting Nastya's nails when he told her and it immediately lit up, “Oh! That Sounds Like Jolly Good Fun, Old Bean!! I Haven't Fought In A Proper War In Ever So Long, I’ll Join You!” </p><p>Jonny narrowed his eyes and was about to say that it couldn't come, but Nastya shot him a look that made him think that if he were to do that he would regret it for a very long time, so instead he sighed and said, “Sure, Toy Soldier... I'm gonna leave in an hour,” it nodded enthusiastically.</p><p>“As Soon As I'm Done With Princess Rasputinas Nails I Will Join You!” It turned it's gaze back to Nastya's hand and resumed painting her nails, perhaps a little quicker than it had been before. Jonny clicked his tongue in apathetic agreement and turned around to walk out the door. </p><p>He dragged his feet while he walked to his room to pack what he would need, the idea of the war tarnished by the knowledge that the Toy Soldier would be fighting alongside him. He grabbed one of his six-shooters and shoved it absently into his bag, he supposed it wasn't all bad, he knew the Toy Soldier was an excellent shot and very chipper. <em>All the time.</em> </p><p>He walked to the exit of the <em>Aurora</em> to find the Toy Soldier already there, marching around excitedly, like a proper soldier. It spotted him and stopped marching, raising its arm to wave at him eagerly, “Shall We Go, Old Chum? I’m So Excited!” </p><p>Jonny huffed and shoved his hands into his pockets, “Yeah, let’s go,” and he walked out, not bothering to glance over his shoulder. </p><p>On their walk to the recruiter's office, Jonny was nodding absentmindedly to the constant chatter of the TS, tuning it out as background noise until they were in front of the recruiters building. He paused and turned to it, suddenly struck by a thought. “What are you gonna sign up as?” </p><p>That only served to reignite the Toy Soldiers excitement and it said, “Why, A Soldier, Of Course!” Jonny shook his head and raked a hand through his hair.</p><p>“Nawh, I meant your name,” the TS cocked it head to the side.</p><p>“What Do You Mean? You Know My Name, First Mate D’ville,” </p><p>Again, Jonny shook his head, bewildered, “Yes, I know you're called ‘the Toy Soldier’ but no ones gonna believe that's your actual name. Pick something else when we sign up,” he turned away from the TS, giving no more thought to what he had said, but the Toy Soldiers spirits dropped like a stone.</p><p>Because that had been an order. It was aware that something in its clockwork compelled it to obey any command given to it, and even though it wanted to use ‘Toy Soldier’ for its name, it could not. But it was supposed that this wasn't the end of the world, it would simply pick a name to sign up with and introduce itself to people as ‘the Toy Soldier’. This was okay. In the moment it took to repair its cheery composure, Jonny had walked a few steps in front of it and opened the door, not bothering to hold it and leaving the TS to hurry forward to catch it before it fell closed. </p><p>When Princess Nastya had stolen it from Mr. and Mrs. Bittersnipe, all she asked was whether or not it could sing, and when she discovered that it could, she was delighted at having a replacement for Jonny that she didn't think to find out how exactly it worked. Later, on the <em>Aurora</em>, Nastya's scientific curiosity compelled her to try to figure out how the Toy Soldier functioned. Alas, at this point it had spent time with the crew and it was convinced that should the Mechanisms find out about its obedience they might not be the kindest about not giving it orders when it didn't want to do something. The main cause for this concern was seeing how the crew talked about Doctor Carmilla, it got the sense that their vitriol didn't come from nowhere. So it decided that it would try to keep this a secret for as long as possible. </p><p>They stood in a crowded room, there were a few desks at the far end of the room and people queuing at each of them, Jonny looked around for a moment before he sucked in a deep breath through his nose and a wild look of freedom came across his face. He joined the shortest queue and the Toy Soldier happily joined him in the line.</p><p>As it stood in like the Toy Soldier pondered what to write down for its name, when a thought crossed its mind. It had, of course, heard Jonny sing about New Texas and his father and the casino. It also remembered the name of Jonny's father. Now, it wouldn't go so far as to call itself ‘Billy Vangelis’ but maybe ‘Jack Vangelis’ would be just the right amount of spite to make itself feel better about having to call itself anything other than its name. </p><p>It was drawn out of its thoughts by Jonny striking up a conversation with the two fellows that were behind them in line.</p><p>“Howdy fellas,” Jonny said, offering a hand to the two of them, who both shook his hand and introduced themselves as ‘Tim’ and ‘Bertie’ respectively. </p><p>The one who introduced himself as Bertie nodded his head towards the TS, who at this point was paying rapt attention to the conversation, “Who's your friend?” Jonny shook his head dismissively but the Toy Soldier elected to ignore that and stuck out a wooden hand.</p><p>“Hello, Chaps! I'm The Toy Soldier! Jolly Good To Meet You!” it decidedly <em>doesn't</em> see the annoyed glare that Jonny shoots it. Instead, it vigorously shakes Bertie's hand, who looked at with mild amusement and held out a hand to Tim. Tim looked at it with suspicion before hesitantly shaking its hand and dropping it again as soon as he felt how <em>wrong</em> its skin felt. Bertie elbowed Tim and apologized to the Toy Soldier for his boyfriend's rudeness.</p><p>It waved it's hand dismissively and the group spent their time in idle conversation while they waited for their turn to enlist. At last, it was their turn, and they were met with a tired-looking woman who told them to write their name, age, and the contact information of your next of kin, on the paper in front of her. </p><p>The Toy Soldier, being a proper gentleman, let its companions go before it, and when they were done it bent at the waist to write down its information. For its age, it put 25, as no one had told it not to lie. It didn't have kin, the widow's other toys long since scattered across the universe, but for completion's sake it wrote down Aurora's serial number. Finally, for its name, it wrote ‘Jack Vangelis’, and relished the thought of Johnny's reaction when he eventually found out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Arrival on the Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As it turned out, all four of them were assigned to the 42nd Starborne Division, and they were sent up to the moon the day after they had been conscripted. The Toy Soldier, for its part, was very happy that it had been assigned with its friends. Well, it knew that Tim didn't like it very much, but surely Bertie and Jonny were its friends! </p>
<p>This was the main thing occupying its thoughts on the way up to the Moon. The Toy Soldier wasn't <em>exactly</em> upset that Tim didn't like it, of course, it was aware that lots of human people found it unsettling, but it did wish that Tim would at least give it a chance. Bertie didn't seem to mind its wooden nature, and for this, the Toy pretends to feel grateful. </p>
<p>Sometimes, when the Toy Soldier thought about its own feelings, it remembers to put ‘pretended to feel’ before. It thinks that this is a wonderful idea. It's so much nicer to think ‘I pretended to be hurt by first mate d’Ville ordering me not to use my name’ than to think ‘I was hurt when first mate d’Ville ordered me not to use my name’. It makes it easier to be nice and chipper when it only <em>pretends</em> to feel things. The Toy Soldier had been idly pondering this habit when Bertie tapped it on the shoulder, smiled, and started up a conversation with it. The Toy Soldier pretended to be very happy about this.</p>
<p>“You said your name was ‘the Toy Soldier’, yeah?” Bertie raises an eyebrow in question. It's not as if he didn't <em>believe</em> that that was its name, it was a wooden robot for goodness sake, but Bertie had never been great with conversation and he sorta panicked and said the first thing that came to his mind. The Toy Soldier didn't seem to mind this one bit and Bertie barely had time to cringe at himself before it's zealous answer came.</p>
<p>“Sure Is, Old Chap! And Yours Is Bertie?” The TS knew his name, of course, but it wanted to be polite. </p>
<p>Bertie nodded, unsure of where to go from there, as the Toy Soldier seemed content in letting Bertie speak next. His mind turned to the thing that had been the topic of almost every conversation he’d had in the past month; this blasted war. “So, uh, why did you enlist?” </p>
<p>“Oh! My Friend, Jonny, Said He Was Going To Come Down And Fight, And It's Been A Dreadfully Long Time Since I've Fought In A Proper War!” Bertie wasn’t stupid. Obviously, a wooden automaton called ‘the Toy Soldier’ wasn't going to be adverse to war. Bertie knew this. He had thought about it when he had first met it. None of this, however, stopped the knee jerk reaction of bewildered horror at the thought of anyone <em>wanting</em> to fight in a ‘proper war’. Bertie nodded, his momentary shock dispelled, and spared a glance at Jonny. Who had been resolutely ignoring the Toy Soldier since they had gotten onto the shuttle, and who was currently being more friendly towards Tim than Bertie had seen him be to the Toy Soldier.</p>
<p>Bertie himself hadn't particularly wanted to ‘serve his queen with a smile’, but his family had been going through a rough time and they could use another source of income. That, along with his boyfriend being ever the patriot, had finally pushed him to enlist. He told the Toy Soldier as such when it asked him why he had joined the war effort. </p>
<p>The Soldier tilted its head, “It's Rather Too Bad That You’re Here Against Your Wishes,” and although the vivacity of its voice didn't wane, there was a sense of sorrowful sympathy in the words.</p>
<p>Bertie shook his head, “No no, it's okay, I'm glad to be here with Tim, and the Kaiser needs to be stopped..” then he nodded resolutely, “yeah, it's right that I’m here,” He looked at the Soldier and considered it, he hadn’t assumed that it was an AI but since starting to talk with it, it became apparent that it was as much of a person as Bertie himself was. The Toy Soldier nodded and Bertie gave it a shy smile, “plus, if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met you!”</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier did not expect Bertie to say that and was unable to contain the happy noise that escaped it when it heard. It wasn't quite sure what to do with itself after hearing something so nice, so while it was pretending to be ecstatic at the thought of having a new friend, it said, “Thank You Chap! I Am Happy To Have Met You Too!!” </p>
<p>Berties' smile grew wider and he chuckled as he said, “I'm glad,” and he was about to say something else when a pleasant voice over the intercom interrupted his thoughts.</p>
<p>“The shuttle will arrive in 10 minutes; Please prepare for landing.” </p>
<p>The dull roar of conversation on the shuttle returned after everyone had paused to listen to the announcement and Bertie looked back to the Toy Soldier, who was reaching to pull a bag that was, presumably, full of its possessions, onto its lap. He heard a peculiar sound from the bag and raised an eyebrow at the Toy Soldier, it sounded almost musical. </p>
<p>Jonny also noticed and looked over in surprise, “What was that?” </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier waved a hand, “Don't Worry, First Mate Jonny! It's Just My Mandolin!” </p>
<p>Both Tim and Berties eyes widened in surprise and they glanced at each other, and before they could even try to unpack all of <em>that</em>, Jonny rolled his eyes and for the first time that either of them had seen, he had an almost fond tone of voice the next time he spoke.</p>
<p>“Why did you bring your mandolin, TS?” the smile in his voice not escaping the notice of anyone.</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier looked away, seemingly embarrassed and said, “I Thought I Might Get The Chance To Play Sometime,” </p>
<p>Jonny nodded and chuckled, and it was at this point Tim and Bertie voiced their bewilderment.</p>
<p>“You play the mandolin?”</p>
<p>“I'm sorry did you say <em>first mate</em>?”</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier and Jonny, who had been engaging in this conversation both looked over at the abrupt interruption and then back to each other as if just realizing that most people weren't both space pirates <em>and</em> in a band and that this was an <em>objectively</em> strange conversation. It was Jonny who spoke up to answer their questions.</p>
<p>“Ah, well yeah, it plays the mandolin and I am the <em>captain</em>,” he said, shooting a look at the Soldier, who looked at its feet, “of our starship, <em>Aurora</em>,” </p>
<p>At this, Tim looked baffled and a bit upset, “You have a bleeding <em>starship</em> and you're fighting in this war??” Tim, for all his proclaimed patriotism, had never been too keen on fighting, but his boyfriend was going up to help support his family and he didn't want to leave Bertie all alone up there on the Moon. So he couldn't comprehend why someone who had a spaceship and could <em>escape</em>, would stay for this blasted war. </p>
<p>Jonny grinned, “Well, a good war can be quite the escape,” and before Tim could ask what the hell he was talking about, Jonny continued, “anyway, better get all your shit together, we’re fixin’ to land,” and indeed he was correct, the shuttle was almost imperceptibly slowing down. Tim didn't look like he understood any better, but everyone else was standing up, preparing to exit, so he pursed his lip and tried to remember to bring it up later. </p>
<p>All of a sudden, the shuttle jerks to a halt and the voice over the intercom returns, “Please exit the shuttle in a quick and orderly manner.” </p>
<p>By the chaos that ensued, you would think that not a single person on that shuttle heard the words “orderly manner”. Everything was pushing and shoving and “I'm sorry, pardon me.” as the new soldiers fought their ways into the room that the shuttle had ended up in.</p>
<p>When they had all gotten off of the shuttle, they stood in a dimly lit room, a small podium sat in the front of them all. A tall, lithe woman stood at the podium, her fiery gaze sending a chill through the crowd.</p>
<p>“Hello soldiers, my name is General Denton, I will be showing you where you are stationed and staying with you until I decide that one of you is competent enough to be in command. Any questions?” Her tone of voice made it clear that she did not want there to be any questions, she scanned the crowd happily remarking to herself that almost none of them would meet her eyes. That was until she turned her steel gaze to a stiff-looking soldier in the back, their crisp green uniform was probably in the best condition that she had ever. She narrowed her eyes at them and they just smiled and stared back, seemingly unshaken by her gaze. </p>
<p>They had yet to blink and honestly were kind of creeping her out, so she looked away and continued her prepared speech about battlegrounds and their territory in the tunnels and caverns. </p>
<p>When she was done she gave a stiff salute and led the soldiers onto the railway cart that lead through the tunnels to their fort, chatting with a few of them on the way there. </p>
<p>Bertie, Tim, Jonny, and the Toy Soldier were standing in a group near the back of the cart, talking about what they thought of the general.</p>
<p>“I Think She Is Just Spiffing!” the TS exclaimed after Jonny had muttered something under his breath of her reminding him of the Doc. Without any of them noticing, the general had made her way over to their little group, and upon hearing the Toy Soldiers' words, made her presence known.</p>
<p>“Thank you.  I'm glad that my leadership has been satisfactory,” Three of them jumped at her sudden appearance, the stiff soldier just quickly turning their head to her. When she had first laid eyes on them the room had been dim and she had been a good seven yards away, but up close she could clearly see their wooden skin. </p>
<p>She looked the Toy Soldier up and down, and, never one for indiscretions, said, “So what are you? A robot?” </p>
<p>It nodded enthusiastically, “I'm The Toy Soldier! Princess Nastya Says I'm A Robot So I Think That's What I Am,” She nodded thoughtfully, not recognizing the name ‘Princess Nastya’ as the Cyberian revolution had yet to happen. </p>
<p>It was at this point that Jonny spoke up, “Yes, alright, the Toy Soldier is very interesting, let's talk about something other than it,” Bertie shot a look of sympathy at the Toy Soldier, who just grinned and nodded its head towards Jonny. </p>
<p>The general was eyeing another group of soldiers, who seemed to be discussing battle strategy and made her excuses to slip away to go talk to them. Jonny and Tim scowled, whereas Bertie was rather relieved that she had left (He had always had quite the fear of authority figures). The Toy Soldier, seeing its friends distress at missing the chance to talk to her, pretended to be sorry to see her go. </p>
<p>The rest of the bumpy ride through the rest of the faintly lit tunnel went by quickly and before the soldiers knew it they had arrived in the cavern that would be their home until they either won the war, were forced to retreat, or died. The cavern was cramped, dark, and dusty, but none of them voiced their complaints, the chill of the general's eyes still heavy on their necks. </p>
<p>Our quartet set up their small tent along with the rest of their fellow soldiers, with them forced to sleep two to a bed, due to lack of supplies. The next few weeks passed by in relative peace, with only a few gas attacks that were deftly handled by the pumps and the general promoting a soldier that none of them knew all that well to colonel. </p>
<p>It was a mere few days after they had bid the general farewell that a group of lunar men chanced upon them, resulting in their first real battle. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier was ecstatic when it heard the first shot, and rushed out to join the fray. The feeling it pretended to feel at finally being beside its comrades in battle was so nice that the Soldier didn't notice until it was too late that it had strayed close enough to the enemy general to hear them shout “RETREAT” and to feel that familiar pull of a command. As it retreated with the kaiser's men, it spared a glance over its shoulder and saw Jonny, looking at it with such confusion, and it saw his mouth open, probably to shout something, but the Toy Soldier was out of earshot at that point. So the wooden man marched on with its new comrades.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The Toy Soldier and the Lunar Men</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Toy Soldier could tell that it was unwelcome to be marching along with the lunar men. It saw the dirty looks that the lennies gave it and when it went up to them their conspiratorial whispers were silent. The Toy Soldier hadn’t yet been shot or attacked, so it thought that the chances that it could make friends with them were high enough to try. It always liked making new friends!</p>
<p>“Hello, Chaps! How Are You?” The group of Lennies gaped at it, they had assumed it was a spy and were planning on convincing it to tell them why it had come and what information it had on the British war effort. So when it just walked right up and cheerfully said hello they didn't know what they should do. </p>
<p>“Er.. hello?” the strong-looking guy standing closest to the Soldier said,  shooting a bewildered look towards his comrades. He turned his gaze back to the wooden man, “You are a spy, right..?” </p>
<p>At this the Toy Soldier gave a cold mechanical laugh, “Oh Heavens No!” as if it had that much agency, “I’m Fighting With You Now!” the people it was standing with furrowed their brows and made various noises of confused suspicion.</p>
<p>The big guy stammered, “Wha- really?” the Soldier nodded sharply and snapped a salute, he still looked extremely suspicious of it but started nodding hesitantly, “Okay..” despite what the British government would tell you, most of the Lunar soldiers weren't cruel, and they were always looking for more manpower on their side, so he nodded more resolutely and said, “Yeah, you can stay,” this was met by sounds of disapproval from the other people in the small group, “I'm colonel Becker, and you are?”</p>
<p>When the Toy Soldier heard this it pretended to feel a burst of happiness, “I’m The Toy Soldier! It's Ever So Nice To Meet You Chaps!”</p>
<p>It was introduced to the rest of them and informed that they were going back to their camp, and it would be a few hours before they got there. The Toy Soldier just grinned and started marching along with the tired Lunar soldiers.</p>
<p>They eventually arrived back at camp and most people collapsed into cots, the Toy Soldier just sitting at a campfire that was in the middle of their dark cavern. It noted that its mandolin was still on it's back, and remarkably still intact. </p>
<p>It thought that playing some songs would be a good way to pass the time until it's new friends felt less tired.</p>
<p>It could, if you asked, tell you down to the minute how long it had been sitting alone before a group of Lennies sat down. However, no one did ask, they instead asked about its mandolin, and what it was playing. It answered dutifully, enjoying being involved in the conversation. </p>
<p>The Soldier had been around for a very very long time, and as such, could play most of the songs that they had in mind, and although they had no idea that it had to follow orders they mostly phrased their requests as requests and not orders, and for this, the TS was quietly grateful. </p>
<p>It had been playing for a half-hour when a few more people sat down, laughing and waving the bottles of brandy that they were holding. The rest of them cheered and held out their hand for glasses, a few making snarky comments about rations.The Toy Soldier was offered a cup and felt once again the warm happiness of being included, and held out its hand to accept. </p>
<p>And then the mood around the fire was all raucous laughter and fun and relief at still being alive, the Soldier was busy playing whatever they requested, laughing along with them. There were friendly hands on its shoulders and no one seemed to distrust it and it was filled with joy at the warmth of camaraderie.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Jonny and the Absence of Jack Vangelis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Meanwhile, in the British encampment, Jonny was sitting on his and the Toy Soldiers' cot, his head in his hands. The battle had tired him out, and he was still baffled as to why the TS would just walk away. In the hectic mess of injured soldiers and corpses after the battle, no one had yet noticed its absence, and Jonny wasn't quite sure how it's disappearance would be explained.</p>
<p> He was startled out of his thoughts by Bertie tapping his shoulder gently, he looked up to a mildly distressed Bertie, “Have you seen the Toy Soldier?” Jonny's first instinct was to lie and say he had no idea where it had gotten too, but the distraught state that he appeared to be in made him pause. After a few seconds of internal conflict, Jonny gestured to his cot.</p>
<p>“Sit down?” Bertie immediately looked more distraught but said nothing and sat down next to Jonny. Jonny sighed and thought about how to gently tell Bertie that his friend had left and decided to march off with the Kaisers men. “Okay, so, it ain’t dead,” Bertie nodded in relief.</p>
<p>“Okay, so where is it then? I haven't seen it?” Bertie looked at Jonny expectantly and when he saw Jonny biting his cheek anxiously the relief gave way back to worry, “Jonny?”</p>
<p>“Well, when the Kaisers men retreated it.. went with them,” Jonny said, not meeting Bertie's eyes. </p>
<p>Bertie blinked in shock and opened his mouth to say something, but his surprise overcame his cognisant thought and he just sat there before closing his mouth and putting his head in his hands. </p>
<p>Jonny nodded sympathetically and stood up patting Berties' shoulder. Jonny walked around their tent for a few minutes before Tim leaned in and announced that the Lutinent was doing roll call. He noticed his boyfriend's sorry state and went over to try and comfort him. Jonny walked quickly out of the tent, not looking to be around yet another one of their PDA sessions. </p>
<p>Jonny joined the large group of people that were milling around in front of the Lieutenant, and after a few moments was joined by Tim and Bertie. They had been standing and chatting idly for a few minutes when the Lutinents loud voice broke over all the chatter. </p>
<p>“When I say your name, say ‘here’.” and proceed to go through the long list of names they had on a screen, Tim, Bertie, and Jonny all saying ‘here’ when their names were called.</p>
<p>Until at last, near the end of the list, the Lutinent called a name that made Jonny's stomach drop.</p>
<p>“Jack Vangelis?” there was silence and Jonny knew that there was only one person who it could be, he remembered telling the Toy Soldier to put down an actual name, but there was no reason he could think of as to why it would put <em>that</em> name. </p>
<p>They repeated the name and frowned at the continued silence, but Jonny didn't know that, he had hurried back to his bed to try not to think about New Texas.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Toy Soldier Reveals a Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lots of thanks to entropy and ashi from the mechscord for being betas for this chapter!!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All of his senses were filled with nothing but the smell of blood and smoke and the sounds of pained screams as soldiers fell. Jonny loved it. He was laughing madly as bullets whizzed around him, occasionally feeling a tearing pain as a bullet ripped through him. Each time he just cackled bitterly and remembered it was better than being with <em>her</em>. Being on <em>her</em> table. </p><p>He was so caught up in the euphoria of the recoil of his lazer as he fired randomly at the enemy that he almost didn't notice his comrade’s panicked retreat as the microwave alarms started blaring. He groaned in irritation and raised his lazer to reluctantly fire a final shot into the fray before shuffling back with the British soldiers. </p><p>During the hectic retreat, Jonny didn't have time to properly register the line of captured soldiers that were being marched along back with the rest of them. He certainly didn't notice the soldier that seemed to be marching cheerfully than the rest and he didn't recognize the warbling whistle that he had heard so often before. </p><p>The Toy Soldier, for its part, was perfectly content to be back in the British infantry after a few months on the other side, no matter the fun it had had with the Lennies. It supposed that it wasn’t completely separated from his new friends, as some of the Lunar men had been captured along with it, but they didn't seem to be interested in conversation, so it contented itself to whistling.  </p><p>It pretended to be excited to see his friend Bertie again, it had missed him oh so dreadfully. It had marched past Major d'Ville a while back and started whistling to try to get his attention. It had missed him too, but it hadn’t worked. It really hoped that he just hadn't noticed it, it didn't think it could even try to pretend to be happy if he had ignored it, but it didn't think it fitting of a return to the British to pretend to be sad. </p><p>So it whistled and marched along in high spirits until they finally arrived back to the camp. It dutifully answered the questions of the bewildered colonel who seemed to be attempting to place where she recognized the Toy Soldier from. </p><p>“..and you’re a Lunar soldier?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow over her clipboard, the dim light coming from the flickering LEDs not at all helping her parce out the familiarity of the stiff figure sitting across the table. </p><p>“I Quite Was!” they said, far too loudly for her tastes, and she was reminded that they <em>definitely</em> spoke with a British accent. She could have sworn that she's heard that voice before. She squinted at them, the stark shadows making it hard to distinguish where their grin stopped and their skin started. </p><p>They sat perfectly still, and it was like a flip switched in her head, “You're the Toy Soldier!” she was ecstatic with the relief of finally remembering something after not being able to for a while, “You came here with Major D'Ville,” and as the joy wore off she squinted at it, “are you okay?”</p><p>“I'm Perfectly Splendid, Ma’am! Thank You For Asking,” The Toy Soldier, ever the gentleman, responded. It wasn't sure why she was looking at it with such suspicion, but it was just glad that she had recognized it. </p><p>“Okay.. well, you can get going, D’ville’s in your tent,” It stood up and gave a sharp salute before turning and marching out. It whistled again as it walked to the tent it shared with its friends, it really really hoped that they weren't going to be mad at it for leaving. Not for the first time, the Soldier considered the possibility that it would have to tell Jonny about its hardwired obedience. It very much was not relishing this possible scenario. It walked the familiar path until it was standing in front of its tent. It tried to quell the fluttery dread it pretended to feel and walked in. </p><p>“Hello, Old Chaps!” It exclaimed, looking at the expressions of utter shock on all three of its friends' faces, and very much hoping that the nervous quiver in its voice was hidden well behind its wooden grin.</p><p>There was a beat, and then two things happened simultaneously: Bertie shot up from his seat on the ground and wrapped shaking arms around the Toy Soldier, and Jonny swore loudly. </p><p>“Oh my god, oh my god,” Bertie whispered into the Toy Soldiers' neck, tears pricking his eyes, “you came back… I didn't think I was ever going to see you again.” </p><p>The Soldier, on behalf of its shock, couldn't think of a proper response to quite possibly the most real expression of pure affection it had ever been shown. </p><p>It finally got it's frozen limbs to move and wrapped them tentatively around Bertie, “I Am Indeed Back,” and then softer, “I Missed You,”</p><p>Bertie stepped back and brushed his hand over his eyes, and smiled. He looked over at Tim with joy in his eyes but frowned at Tim's slight look of dismissive disgust. Bertie was about to say something, maybe give Tim a talking to about being kind, when Jonny interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>“Could ya fine fellows give me and my friend a moment,” Bertie and Tim looked over to see Jonny’s face, and neither of them could discern what expression he had. So Tim grabbed Bertie's hand and stood up.</p><p>“Uh, sure Jonny,” Tim said, and as an afterthought, “glad to have you back TS,”. The Soldier saluted Tim happily and walked towards Jonny. </p><p>Jonny sat down on his bed that he supposed he once again “shared” with the Toy Soldier and gestured to the chair that was sat opposite to the bed and looked silently as the Toy Soldier promptly sat down.</p><p>Jonny looked at it and drew in a sharp breath, “You left.” He raised an eyebrow at it. The Soldier suddenly felt very wary of the person that it had known for the better part of a hundred years. Jonny was one of it's favourite people and it really hoped that it hadn’t upset him, it seemed like TS wasn't so fortunate.</p><p>“Yes I Did,” and when it didn't say anything beyond that Jonny sighed and put his face in one of his hands, gesturing with the other one.</p><p>“Why did you do that?” He removed his hand from his face and crossed his arms over his chest, looking expectantly at the Toy Soldier.</p><p>The Soldier hesitated. It thought that lying to him right now would not make things better, and now was as good a time as any to finally reveal that it had to follow any order, “I Had To,” </p><p>Jonny threw his hands up in frustration and stood up. The Toy Soldier could not flinch, but it did let out a high pitched noise of fearful surprise, “Whadya mean you ‘had to’?!” standing at his full height he seemed to tower over the Soldier.</p><p>“Jonny, Please Sit Down And Allow Me A Moment To Explain,” the panicked tone of its voice contrasted so starkly with it's ever painted smile. He had so rarely heard fear in its voice that he was startled out of his encompassing frustration. He sighed and sat down.</p><p>“Fine, say your piece,” Jonny sat forward, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.</p><p>The Soldier tried desperately to calm itself and attempted to gather the prepared lines for explaining itself that had been scattered in its mind. “Well, The Lunar General Ordered A Retreat.” It paused, hoping that Jonny wouldn't interrupt, and was rather relieved when he didn't. “Due To A Quirk In My Code, I Must Follow Any And All Orders Given To Me. That Is Why I Left.” The TS folded its hands in its lap, awaiting a response. </p><p>Jonny's eyes widened and he looked mildly horrified, though not at the Toy Soldier. “Any order?” The Soldier nodded and Jonny seemed to get more distressed. “What about when someone gives you an order you don't want to follow?” </p><p>The Toy Soldier tilted it's head to the side, “What About It? That Doesn't Change Whether I Follow It Or Not?”<br/>
At this Jonny hung his head and groaned in what could have been mistaken for pain.<br/>
“Have I ever made you do somethin’ you ain't wanted to do?” Jonny looked almost fearful of the Soldier's response.</p><p>“Indeed You Have, Old Chum!” The Toy Soldier tried to reflect that it didn't blame him, but from the look of Jonny, it hadn't worked. </p><p>He looked utterly horrified with himself, out of instinct he went to grab the Toy Soldier’s hand, but stopped himself and said, “D’ya mind if I hold your hand, TS?”. Upon seeing the Toy Soldier nod its head enthusiastically he actually took its hand, for the first time not shuddering at the feeling of wood where skin should be. </p><p>He looked at the ground really hard, finding that he was having to blink back tears, but resolved himself to follow through with the apology he needed to make, “Toy Soldier, I'm real sorry that I made you do something you didn't want to, I will try my hardest to not do that ever again.” </p><p>The Toy Soldier blinked at him, not understanding right away just what was going on. No one had ever felt the need to apologize for ordering it to do something it didn't want to, and it found that it was really nice. </p><p>“Oh, Thank You! I Assure You It's Quite Alright!” it said, squeezing Jonny's hand in what it hoped was a reassuring manner.</p><p>Jonny smiled at it, the self-loathing not quite gone, but now painted over by relief, “It's really good to have you back, TS.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Death of Bertie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>time for sad sad things</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jonny seemed to be being a lot friendlier with the Toy Soldier, but that could have just been the camaraderie of battle getting more defined within Jonny. Whatever it was, the Toy Soldier couldn’t have been happier with the change. </p>
<p>Jonny, truthfully, was having a difficult time working out his feelings, not that that was anything new. He still didn't <em>like</em> the Toy Soldier, it was still creepy and weird. However, there was a something creeping in the back of his mind that he was almost sure was <em>affection</em>. It's relentless cheerfulness and chipper attitude was seeming less creepy and more <em>cute</em> every day. </p>
<p>These newfound feelings warred with the hatred of his own actions. Intellectually, he knew that it wasn't his fault, that he hadn't known, but “not knowing” isn't an excuse to make someone do something they don't want to do. In his opinion, the Toy Soldier should hate him, but it doesn't, and he just hopes he's eventually able to make it up to TS. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier itself was just happy that Jonny was finally being nice to it. It had noticed that he was trying <em>very</em> hard to not just order it around, often catching himself and changing it to be phrased as a question instead. Now, TS didn't want to be ungrateful, and it certainly wasn't going to talk to Jonny directly about this (that would just be impolite) but it didn't really understand why Jonny was putting in such an effort. It wasn't even as if this was the first time someone had found out about its constraint to follow any order given to it, but this was probably the first time someone cared to respect its fragile autonomy. </p>
<p>It remembered the delight on the Widow’s face as she tested it to make sure it's custom programming was working correctly, and it remembered the sheen of pleasure in her eyes each time she ordered it to do something after. It knew that the Widow loved it, <em>she must have loved it</em>, but at some point, it seemed like she would push further and further with her requests just so she could order it to act when it hesitated. It hadn’t minded that, that's what it was there for, after all, a toy for her to play with.</p>
<p>But now Jonny was treating ordering it to do something it didn't want to as a horrible thing for him to have done. And sometimes, in the quiet moments between conflict or camaraderie, it was able to admit to itself that it liked that. It liked being treated like the person it pretended to be, rather than the toy it was.</p>
<p>The war marched along, with the Toy Soldier switching sides often, it even found itself switching sides sometimes for no reason at all, just as an exercise of its own will. It had great friends on both sides, having a spot saved for it at mess hall tables no matter who it was fighting with at the moment. </p>
<p>At the moment, however, it was fighting with the Lunar soldier and having a great time! It was chatting cheerfully with one of its friends as they marched towards a British encampment. The Lennies had planned an ambush on a British base, the Toy Soldier hadn’t recognized the location where the camp was, and it didn't recognize the terrain of the tunnels as they crept toward the unfortunate victims of their ambush. It was hard not to pretend to be sad at a missed opportunity to see Bertie, Jonny, and Tim, but it supposed that it was a good thing that Bertie and Tim were safe.</p>
<p>As they got closer to their destination the chatter died down until all that was left were the quiet scuffs of boots on soil and the dull murmur that was impossible to fully quell in a group of people as big as this one. Their flashlights gradually switched off until they were standing in the pitch-black entrance of a cavern. The flickering lights of the camp in front of them sparking hatred in most of the Lunar soldiers, and sparking nothing but a reminiscent nostalgia in the Toy Soldier.</p>
<p>After a beat, the first gunshot rang out from the Lennies, and everything was chaos and bloodshed. The soldiers surged forward, violence leaping from the guns and blades, falling on the unsuspecting British soldiers. The Toy Soldier was cheerfully firing at the Brits, it's impeccable aim ensuring that it didn't miss its mark once. It was having a wonderful time, combat as comfortable as a good uniform to TS, but as it was fighting, it heard a noise that froze it dead in its tracks.</p>
<p>Tims anguished shout sounded across the camp as the Toy Soldier turned around to see a very distressing scene indeed. Bertie was kneeling in front of a Lunar soldier, the Toy Soldier first friend on the Lunar side, a few yards in front of TS. Tim stood a considerably farther distance away, unable to do anything but look on in horror, but when the movement of the Toy Soldier drew his gaze to meet the Toy Soldiers. Relief flooded his expression when he made eye contact with the Toy Soldier.</p>
<p>Bertie looked up, his tired eyes covered by his matted and bloody hair, but he could have recognized the Toy Soldier anywhere. A pure smile crept over his face, it had been so long since he had seen his friend, and he had missed it every day. TS had missed him dreadfully as well, it was going to save him, it was going to hug him again.</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier rushed forward, scared confusion was all that it felt. <em>Bertie wasn't supposed to be here, he was supposed to be safe</em>. The Lunar soldier that currently had his gun to Bertie's head turned in bemusement to the Toy Soldier, this particular soldier had known about the Soldier’s compulsory obedience and so, to the horror of the Toy Soldier, he opened his mouth.</p>
<p>“Stop.” and it did. It had no choice but to stand stock still as Berties deliriously happy face changed into a startled confusion, the last expression he would ever have. It had to watch as a shot rang out, and one of the first people to purely love it, without complication or demand, ceased to be. It had to stare, expressionless, as Tim’s relief warped into loss and anger and <em>pain</em>. </p>
<p>The Lunar Soldier laughed and said, “Alright, let’s go, TS,” he clapped it on the shoulder, and the Toy Soldier couldn’t do anything but walk away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hope you liked it! have a good timezone &lt;333</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Tim and The Toy Soldier 'Talk'</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i didnt forget about this fic!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Toy Soldier did not feel things. The Toy Soldier did not feel guilty, or sad, or afraid. It was only pretending. It was only <em>pretending</em>. </p><p>The Toy Soldier was very good at that, very good at ‘pretending’ to feel. Despite all its practice, however, it never perfected it. It knew that the feelings that it ‘pretended’ to feel weren't <em>real</em>, but that didn't stop them from affecting it. It didn't stop it from hating itself for not being able to help Bertie.</p><p>Bertie who loved it, who cherished it's company and always made it feel included. Bertie who didn't tolerate Tim treating it disrespectfully. Bertie who offered to braid its hair before battle, and who never failed to smile when they saw each other. Bertie who it let die. </p><p>But it's grief isn't <em>real</em>. It was <em>fine</em>. It was the Toy Soldiers' fault anyway, it could have helped if it weren't for it's <em>blasted</em> programming. </p><p>It found itself back in the British infantry far too soon, only a week or so after Bertie had died. The colonel had long since given up on trying to make any sense of its comings and goings, she gave the Soldier a tired smile, years of war would do that to a person, so she waved it through and said, “Lutinents Tim and d’Ville should be in tent five, good to have you back, Soldier.”  </p><p>It faltered and said, “Tim Is... Here?” </p><p>She nodded solemnly, “Yeah, he’s mighty torn up about Bertie dying, I haven't talked to him, but I see a fire in that boy.”</p><p>The Toy Soldier snapped a sharp salute, a good soldier always showed respect, and walked away. As it walked, it thought back to the last time it had seen Tim, the pain and hate in his eyes. It was pretending to be very afraid to see him again. It marched down the path and it was so lost in nerves that it didn't notice Jonny until it was right in front of him. </p><p>“Toy Soldier?!” It snapped its gaze to Jonny, it's neck not moving like a persons should (it never did, but it was usually able to put in more effort to pretend)</p><p>It turned to face Jonny, it snapped a salute and said, “Colonel d’Ville! What A Pleasure!” </p><p>Jonny crossed his arms and looked at the Soldier, not with any malice, just bewilderment. He remembered that Bertie and the Toy Soldier got on like a house on fire, and he found it strange that it wasn't even a <em>little</em> upset. He had always liked Tim more than Bertie, and he was bound to die anyway, so Jonny wasn't too torn up about it. He knew that it was aware that Bertie had died; Tim wouldn't shut up about how he saw it when Bertie died. Jonny hadn’t been paying too much attention though, he was content to let Tim get to the ‘anger’ stage of grief, then he would be <em>fun</em> again. </p><p>“Are you… not upset about Bertie?”</p><p>Had Jonny been better at listening, he might have noticed the shake in its voice when it answered, “Best Not To Dwell On The Past, Old Chap!”</p><p>But Jonny just nodded reluctantly, “Alright, come with me if you like, I’m going back to the tent.” and he started walking.</p><p>The Toy Soldier couldn't have interpreted that as an Order if it tried, and truthfully, it didn't want to see Tim, but it followed anyway, it thought that it was best not to disappoint another friend. </p><p>The Toy Soldier was pretending to be rather anxious, so it took a few seconds for Tim lying face-down on his and Ber- or well, just his cot, to draw its attention. </p><p>“Hey Tim,” Jonny said, walking over to his cot and laying down, his hands behind his head. </p><p>Tim visually sighed and raised his head, “Hey Jonny wh-” and then he saw a figure in the corner of his vision. He knew it wasn't Him, he knew that it <em>couldn't</em> be Him, but that didn't stop the desperate hope. But then he saw it.</p><p>He got out of bed quicker than he had in weeks and made a point not to look at it as he spoke to Jonny, his voice hard, “No. No, Jonny, get it out of here. Now.”</p><p>“What?” he said, bewildered. If he had been paying more attention for the past week he might have understood what was going on, “No?”</p><p>“You have too, Jonny, please,” but before Jonny could react, something in Tim seemed to snap and he turned to the Toy Soldier. His voice lost any of its calm and then he was shouting, “Why?! Why! Do you hate me that much? What the fuck!?” </p><p>Jonny was on his feet as soon as Tim started yelling, “Tim! Stop!”</p><p>“No Jonny! I’m not going to ‘stop’! Bertie is DEAD! And here it is! Chipper as ever!”</p><p>He put his face in one hand like he was irritated with this whole thing, “And?”</p><p>Tim stared at him, disbelief in his eyes, but it wasn't long before his anger caught up with him again, “It could have stopped it!” </p><p>It was at this point that the Toy Soldier tried to speak, “Tim-”</p><p>He spun around and took a few steps towards it, pointing accusingly, “No! You could have helped him!” he grabbed the collar of its uniform, although there was no real force behind it, “Why didn't you <em>help</em> him?!”</p><p>Jonny had been letting this confrontation happen, but when Tim laid hands on the Toy Soldier he intervened. He drew his rifle and pointed it at Tim, “Stop. Now, Tim.”</p><p>Tim turned to Jonny, tears streaming down his face, and he laughed. “Do it! Jonny, I have <em>nothing</em> anymore!”</p><p>Jonny's face fell and his grip on the gun faltered, Tim just scoffed and walked out of the room, shooting one more scathing look at the Toy Soldier. </p><p>Jonny’s gun fell to his side. He looked at the Soldier, “I'm sorry,” he ran out of the tent after Tim.</p><p>The Toy Soldier was stood in the same place it had been when it first entered the tent, but after the tent was empty it walked stiffly over to the corner and sat down. There was a lot for it to think about, but the main thing was how much it wanted to pretend to feel hurt. </p><p>But it was a proper soldier, and proper soldiers were always full of vim and vigor and they were <em>not</em> sad. It decided it wasn't going to pretend to cry. It had to keep telling itself that as small sounds escaped its throat, and its whole body shook with what definitely <em>weren't</em> sobs. It hoped that they wouldn't come back for a while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>so yeah, i just enjoy making them sad</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Jonny and the Toy Soldier Spend Some Time Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hooo boy did it take a while to get the motivation to write this</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tim didn't come back that night, or the next day. Jonny did though, he shuffled in at around 7 in the morning. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier sat on the bed it shared with Jonny, the hours alone had given it ample time to stop pretending to cry. So it had been sitting in silence for a few hours, decidedly <em>not</em> thinking about the way that Gunpowder had looked at him before rushing out of the tent. </p>
<p>The way that he had shook as he shot a look of burning rage at the Soldier, and the way that the tears that streamed down his face were directed at <em>it</em> were the <em>furthest</em> things from the Toy Soldiers mind as it’s head snapped to the side to watch Jonny come in</p>
<p>“Hello Jonny!” it exclaimed.</p>
<p>If Jonny noticed that the tone of it's voice was less conivingly human today that it had been in a <em>while</em>, he didn't mention it. Instead he just sighed and raised his head to look at it, “Hey, TS..” </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier was <em>very</em> experienced in listening to people's tone of voice, and through centuries of trial and error it had learned that when people spoke like this it generally meant that it was supposed to ask what was wrong, which meant that something must be wrong. </p>
<p>The Soldier pretended that this distressed it a great deal, Jonny was it's friend after all, “Is Something The Matter, Jonny?”</p>
<p>Jonny shrugged and went to sit next to it on the bed, looking at his knees for a few seconds before saying, “Would you-” he cut himself off, not for any reason that the Toy Soldier could see mind, but he raised a hand to put his hand over his eyes,  “Would you mind if i put my head on your shoulder and we held hands?”</p>
<p>There was silence for a few seconds as the Soldier took a moment to process what he had said. He wanted to hold it's hand. And he was <em>asking</em> it if it <em>minded</em>.</p>
<p>Hmm. Did it mind? There was no order, and there were none of the commands that hid behind some ‘questions’, so the Toy Soldier had to take a second to think. It cared about the other Mechanisms a lot, but Jonny had asked what it <em>minded</em>...</p>
<p>“Do You Think You Could Just Hold My Hand?” The Soldier said after a while, and to it's surprise, Jonny smiled a little bit and nodded, holding out his hand.</p>
<p>It took his hand, and though it couldn't feel in the conventional sense it got the impression that holding his hand was nice.</p>
<p>“I wouldn't say that somethings the <em>matter</em>,” Jonny said, trailing off before he collected his thoughts enough to put together a coherent sentence, “Tim’s gone, I think.”</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier tilted it's head to look at Jonny, “He Died?” The Soldier wouldn't say that he was overly fond of Tim, but they had been comrades, and it didn't know what it would pretend to do if he had died so soon after…</p>
<p>Jonny shook his head though, “Nah, just took off. I tried to follow him but I lost interest when he went into the cave on the far East of the camp.” the gears in the Toy Soldiers hand were probably the most intricate machinery on the moon, so perhaps it knew more than Jonny how much his grip on the Toy Soldier’s hand tightened when he next spoke.</p>
<p>“He took just about every gun in the armoury though.” </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier nodded, it didn't know what to think about that, at least Tim couldn't yell at it anymore. </p>
<p>Jonny nodded in return and hung his head before squeezing the Soldiers hand and standing up to lay down on the cot, moving his cowboy hat to rest over his eyes.</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier was mildly amused, as it was seven O’clock in the morning on a Tuesday, “Jonny, What Are You Doing?”</p>
<p>Jonny stuck a toothpick in his mouth, “Taking a nap?”</p>
<p>“It Is Seven O’Clock In The Morning On A Tuesday.”<br/>Jonny lifted his hat for a second, “And?”</p>
<p>The Toy Soldier’s constant smile didn't falter but it let out a small noise of exasperated disbelief as it set about the routine tasks that a British soldier undertook each day, “You Are Unbelievable!”</p>
<p>Jonny scoffed and said sarcastically, “I love you too, TS.” </p>
<p>It froze for a second, it's hand stuck halfway to grabbing something, “I Love You Too, Darling Girl!” The words seemed forced, and they were dipped in false honey that made the Toy Soldier’s throat hurt.</p>
<p>The tent was quiet for a moment before Jonny sat up in alarm, “What the hell was that?” the annoyance in his tone, whether it was real or perceived, seemed to set the Toy Soldier on edge more than the words themselves had.</p>
<p>“Ah! Please Do Not Say That You ‘Love Me’!” it jittered as it tried to go back to what it was doing before, but it's hands seemed more robotic and it found it much harder to move it's limbs, so it kept talking, “Due To A Previous Order I Have To Say That I Return The Sentiment!”</p>
<p>Jonny’s eyes widened at the possible implications of <em>that</em> but he nodded slowly, “Okay, okay, im sorry.” </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier gave a sharp nod and went back to what it was doing, still rattled. They sat in silence for a few seconds before an idea occurred to Jonny, “What if.. I Ordered you to forget that Order? Would that work? Would <em>you</em> like that?”</p>
<p>The Soldier turned to him and considered his words. After The Widow and the Angel died this particular order didn't come up all that often. Of course, it was never a pleasant feeling to pretend to feel when it had to remember that time in its existence, but it had been able to manage. <em>Would</em> it like it more if it didn't have to do that? It decided that yes, it would. </p>
<p>“That Would Be Rather Spiffing!” </p>
<p>Jonny nodded, he hadn’t really expected it to say yes, but he would keep his word. He tried to put on the tone of voice he used on the privates that he was given command over and said, “Toy Soldier, I Order you to forget the order to say ‘I love you’ back to whoever says it to you.” </p>
<p>The Soldier felt the Order working itself through it's programming, and then it felt the Order that had been given over tea all those years ago lift. It made a small noise of delight (it had always enjoyed pretending to have autonomy). “Thank You Jonny!”</p>
<p>He nodded slightly, his mind still somewhat occupied by the very troublesome fact that that Order had been given to it at all, “‘Course, TS, glad I could help.”</p>
<p>It gave a happy salute and went back to it's tasks, humming a tune that it had been working on. </p>
<p>And so it went for a few weeks; the Toy Soldier playing at being a British soldier and Jonny putting his feelings about Tim leaving into killing lunar soldiers and yelling at his subordinates. </p>
<p>Until the Toy Soldier found itself on the other side, and rising quickly through the ranks of the sparse lunar army...</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>almost done! just a few more chapters!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Tim Goes Crazy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>another chapter!! motivation finally!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tim laughed. He laughed as he fired shot after shot after shot. He didn't <em>stop</em> laughing for weeks, <em>months</em>. </p>
<p>No. No, he smiled, and he let the tears flow down his strained cheeks as he tore the lunar army asunder. The red flowed from his enemies, dying his teeth red and making the muscles in his hand ache from how hard he gripped his gun, and as the righteous violence poured from his gun and his blade, he <em>didn’t</em> think about Bertie.  </p>
<p>Certainly not, his boyfriend was the furthest thing from his mind as he ripped and rent the lennies. He listened to the familiar crack and break of bone beneath the butt of his gun, and his thought dwelled on his former comrades. </p>
<p>Jonny D’ville. That sick bastard, his mad laughter echoed in Tims own as he committed the same acts of repulsive violence that he had detested seeing his friend commit. But he was Tim’s <em>friend</em>. Jonny had cared about him, in a strange half scientific way. It kind of reminded Tim of the times when superiors would get chummy with him because they had a detached interest in what he would do next. </p>
<p>But he liked him, no matter the cruel way that Jonny smiled when he shot people, they were still friends.</p>
<p>On the other hand, the Toy Soldier. At first, he hadn’t minded it, after all, he dearest beloved had cared about it. And then it took him. </p>
<p>He didn't like thinking about the Toy Soldier any way but having his thoughts soaked in violence and hatred. Because it hurt even more when he thought about the Toy Soldier that Bertie talked about, the kind thing that always offered a seat at it's table and that <em>somehow</em> always had tea and crumpets. </p>
<p>And it <em>hurt</em> to remember that because he couldn't remember his boyfriends friend without seeing it stand stock still as a lunar soldier fired a single shot at his-</p>
<p>No. No he couldn't think about that right now, he needed to focus, he was surrounded on all sides by the rancid soldiers that had been ordered to kill him. And yet, he couldn't help it when his seething thoughts drifted to the Toy Soldier yet again.</p>
<p><em>Why</em> hadn’t it helped Bertie? When it and Bertie had been joking about the nature of war it had always gotten serious at one point or another and said that it would protect him. So why hadn't it?</p>
<p>That's when a <em>very</em> interesting thought crossed Tims mind. He remembered dimly Jonny sitting him down and telling him not to order the Toy Soldier around. This had been a couple years ago and, truthfully, Tim had been a little hungover, so he had just nodded and waved Jonny off. </p>
<p>He caught hold of this thread of thought and pulled. He remembered times when he had given the Toy Soldier an order, and he remembered every smart salute and “Right-O Gunpowder!” but now that he considered it, he couldn't think of a single time when it had disobeyed an order.</p>
<p>He ripped his blade through the heart of some nameless Lenny and a dangerous idea was born into Tim’s mind. He grinned as the blood spattered on his face and the thought solidified, the Toy Soldier, that wretched thing, would follow any order given to it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tim can go little a crazy, as a treat</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. The Toy Soldier vs The Kaisers Personal Guard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hope you enjoy it!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The lunar army was.. different.. then how the Toy Soldier remembered it. More quiet. Less of the raucous laughter it had come to expect from the lennies. Although, as a well-known figure on both sides of the war, it did still get the smiles and was stopped for chats in between battles.</p>
<p>And then there was the figure that was the topic of seemingly every conversation that took place, from the privates barracks to the generals quarters. In the month or so that he had left their camp, Tim seemed to have taken on an almost mythic persona of violence and hatred. His name was rarely spoken, but the Toy Soldier could make its assumptions </p>
<p>It found itself rising through the ranks faster than it had ever before, the exact nature of its obedience wasn't known by most of its comrades on this side, but it's adeptness and cheerful nature made it a popular choice for promotion. </p>
<p>So it found itself in the moon kaiser's personal guard. It was a select group, with only fifteen of the lunar army's finest chosen to protect the kaiser. The camaraderie and kinship here was quite nearly the most that the Toy Soldier had pretended to feel since arriving on the moon.</p>
<p>The shared duty with the other guardsmen along with the quiet moments of companionship in their barracks was enough to drive the scathing look that Gunpowder had shot at it before leaving from the Toy Soldiers mind. The smiles and jokes that it exchanged with its friends could, for the most part, keep it from thinking of that last grateful glance that Bertie had given it before… Well! Best not to dwell!</p>
<p>And so pretending to be happy, pretending to be content, became the usual for a few weeks, if it didn't think about Jonny, or Gunpowder, or Ber- anyone else from the British army. </p>
<p>At least until Gunpowder Tim was, quite literally, dragged back into the Soldier’s mind. </p>
<p>It had been a normal day, it had been a <em>good</em> day. Its friends had included it in a small game that they had before they went in for their guard shift, and when they had walked to the throne room together they had laughed and told jokes together. </p>
<p>It was performing its duties as usual, smiling and playfully tutting at its friends when they laughed and joked when they were supposed to be doing their jobs, it was nice. Rather, it was nice until a bloody soldier was dragged into the throne room. </p>
<p>The cheerful murmuring of the guardsmen was silenced as the man struggled against his binds, swearing as he dug the rope further, cutting into his calloused wrists. Their positions were largely symbolic, the handsome blades that they carried mostly for show, and it had been weeks since any of them had seen violence. </p>
<p>None of them were keen on drawing attention to themselves, so they restrained themselves to nervous glances among themselves, and gripping the hilts of their weapons.</p>
<p>It wasn't until his chin was tilted up by the tip of the Kaiser's blade that the Toy Soldier was able to recognize Gunpowder Tim from behind the blood and grief. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier froze, as well as a wooden automaton <em>can</em> freeze. Tim’s breathing was haggard as he knelt in front of the Kaiser, but he didn't seem afraid. He seemed <em>happy</em>. Even as the blade nicked his throat he smiled and looked up at the Kaiser. And as tears flowed down his face, carving canyons through the blood on his face, the Toy Soldier could see the ragged carelessness for his own life that Gunpowder had shown ever since Bertie had di- had gone away. </p>
<p>It was not sure what to pretend to feel. </p>
<p>The Kaiser sneered down at him and lowered his blade before sauntering over to his throne, waffling on about an ‘extended execution’. The Toy Soldier was trying to pay attention, as a good soldier should, but it couldn't look away from Tim’s <em>face</em>. </p>
<p>“Hello, my friend, it's a pleasure to meet you.” The Kaiser's cruel voice rang out in the silent room, he adjusted his crown and pulled something out of a box that was beside his throne. </p>
<p>It turned out to be Jonny’s severed head. Huh.</p>
<p>The guardsmen hadn't been speaking before, but as the Moon Kaiser held the head out in front of him it seemed as though the room went silent. </p>
<p>Save, perhaps, the drip of blood from Jonny’s neck, and the quickened breathing of Gunpowder Tim. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier wasn’t watching Jonny’s face, it still couldn't stop looking at Tim’s face, but <em>something</em> happened to make Tim’s eyes widen and make him begin to look rapidly around the room. </p>
<p>And Oh. He was looking at it. </p>
<p>He was making eye contact with it and his frightened face turned hateful. Hateful and <em>excited</em>.</p>
<p>He looked back to the Moon Kaiser, but when the Toy Soldier finally broke its gaze on his vicious face and followed his line of sight it saw that he was fixing his eyes on the lunar cannon. </p>
<p>He turned back to the Soldier and grinned, malice clear on his face, “Fight.” </p>
<p>There was a half-second of silence as it parsed the Order, and a half-second of its fellow guardsmen, it's <em>friends</em>, casting curious glances at it. </p>
<p>And then, in as fluid a movement as its wooden limbs were capable of, it unsheathed its sword. A sword which, despite being practically decorative, was kept sharp as any field soldier's weapon would be. A sword which now cut through the uniforms of its fellow guardsmen, and the blade carving through the flesh of those it cared so dearly about.</p>
<p>The swiftness of its blade didn't slow as it saw the confused, the <em>terrified</em> expressions of its friends. It <em>couldn't</em> stop, even as it pretended to feel the familiar feeling of loss well in its clockwork.</p>
<p>Perhaps it was too quick to pretend to care. </p>
<p>Unbeknownst to the Toy Soldier, as it was still rather focused on the violence at hand, Gunpowder Tim was on his feet and free from his binds, trying desperately to find a way to light the lunar cannon. </p>
<p>The Toy Soldier’s comrades fell around it, all of them still too stunned to fight back against the person that they had laughed and smiled with. And as another one of its comrades fell, sparking more pretend loss in the Soldier, it saw Gunpowder standing at the lunar cannon. </p>
<p>It saw him fiddle with the dials and then, as the ceiling shook with the force of a massive object moving, shoot one last scathing look at the Toy Soldier.</p>
<p>It didn't see what happened next, it had spun around to continue the fight, and it did. For a few seconds (if it was a person it would have described those last few moments of seeing the hurt faces of its friends as ‘painful’. But it was not a person.) it kept expertly swinging its sword. </p>
<p>And then there was a flash of brilliant white.</p>
<p>And at last,</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>aaa!!!!!!!!! finally done with plot!!!! i *might* do an epilogue that takes place way later where tim apologizes to ts, but this is it for plot! i hope you liked it!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Toy Soldier is just my favourite, kudos and comments are always appriciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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